Bigmouth Strikes Again
by XGlamorousxGlueX
Summary: For HPJellicleCat's A Very Potter Challenge! Sirius should really consider keeping his mouth shut.


**A new challenge. A new idea! This was for HPJellicleCat's A Very Potter Challenge. Quote given was: 'Just relax with the 'Dark King' ok? I watch you wipe your butt daily, you can call me Voldemort. We've reached that point.'**

**Character was: Dumbledore!**

**A/N: This was awesome to write. AVPM FTW! Also, it has a hint of Sirius/Remus but it's so small, it's almost unfair :[**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything ::looks back:: The wizard cops are following me!**

**Bigmouth Strikes Again**

Of all the stupid pranks they've ever pulled, this was by far the most ridiculous. No, it was more than ridiculous. It was careless and completely dangerous. Well, that's what Remus kept mumbling anyway. Sirius of course would say it was for the a good cause; he had eaten all of Remus' chocolates a few nights ago and in order to continue receiving his heavenly kisses, planned an impromptu trip to Hogsmead.

It was all going well, according to the plan: _Get in. Get the stash. Get out._ But even with careful planning, it all went down hill faster than Padfoot chased his tail.

A group of Death Eaters decided that day was perfect to ruin everything and scared the living hell out of the small town. The Marauders ran back to the castle, completely forgetting how they sneaked in the shop in the first place, and were caught by Filch. They now sat in the Headmaster's office.

James had the decency to look ashamed.

Remus was desperately thinking of some type of excuse.

Peter was close to fainting.

Sirius just looked bored. And he wouldn't shut up.

'Don't piss your pants, boys. Where's your Gryffindor courage?' he said in a very lazy way.

'Sirius, shut up! We could all get in serious trouble! They just know we were out of the castle but if they find out we were at Hogs-'

'Remus! Bloody hell, you might as well kiss your arse goodbye if you keep talking!' hissed James.

'We could have been hurt,' whispered Peter, who was still in shock, 'do you think anyone was hurt badly?'

'I hope not. They just wanted to give everyone a good scare, I think.' James didn't sound too convinced.

Remus, ever the conscience of the group, took advantage of the moment by saying, 'It was foolish and quite frankly, we deserve whatever punishment we're about to be given. Merlin, my parents are going to kill me.'

But as Remus spoke, Sirius stood up, lounging around as if he weren't in the Headmasters office awaiting punishment.

'You boys are taking this too seriously.' _Grin_.

'Don't say it, Sirius. I'm going to throw you out the window if you say that stupid 'joke,' snarled James.

'Well you are! It's possible Voldemort could be some poor sap who never got laid or a blow job or-'

'WE GET IT!' cried Remus, James and Peter in unison.

'I bet Dumbledore knows him quite well. Hell, maybe they're best mates! Knowing the Headmaster, he'd probably say 'Oooh Dark Lord! You look dashing in those robes. Shall we go to the loo together?'' said Sirius in a high pitched voice to portray the Headmaster.

By this point, Sirius was standing in front of the door of the office, obscuring the other three boys' view of anyone coming in. Sirius still wasn't finished.

'And then Voldemort would say 'Just relax with the Dark King, ok? I watch you wipe your butt daily, you can call me Voldemort. We've reached that point.' he said in deep voice while pulling at his coat as if he were a high ranking wizard.

He was so enraptured in his portrayal of the two wizards that he didn't see Remus' eyes widen, James mouthed curse word, and Peter swaying in his seat.

'As convincing as your acting abilities are, Mr. Black, I believe we have other pressing matters.' said the Headmaster, sans high pitched voice.

'I…um, I didn't…' stuttered Sirius.

'Take a seat, Mr. Black. Your Head of House is on her way,' stated Dumbledore while he walked towards his desk. A hint of amusement was hidden in his voice.

If looks could kill, the three boys would have been converted into piles of dust under Sirius' death glare.

'Well,' they thought, 'maybe something positive _did_ come out of this experience after all.

**So, what did you think? **

**This story is for those people who have made fun of someone else without realizing that person was standing right behind them. Yeah, shit happens ;] **


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